Decay

Update: I was planning on seeing Wonder Woman on Tuesday, but something came up for the friend I was supposed to see it with. I was hoping to see it today instead, but it’s looking like my friend is busy again tonight. Therein lies the disadvantage of wishing to see a movie with someone, your schedule is at the mercy of theirs. When I do see Wonder Woman I will upload a review either the same night or the next day. Also fighting off a cold and not sure whether I still want to get out of the house. In the meantime, here’s a poetry piece inspired by one of the shorter pieces I posted to @wmoviegrapevine earlier today.

I used to say that I’m only 22,

Now I try to convince myself I’m only 25,

The years have crept up on me,

Time is a persistent stalker that doesn’t always give announce its presence,

He may be invisible when we look upon the face or the body,

But his decay is ever present,

The body that looks vibrant and youthful is cursed with pains that only diminish, but don’t dissipate,

Time carries its own passengers,

Responsibility being the chief among them,

What are you doing with your life?

I know what I want to do,

Share my words with others,

I already am,

Yet my words can’t feed me,

At least not yet,

Do I spend my free time working towards this goal?

I do,

Do I spend my free time working to escape the cubicle prison,

I used to,

One resume after another sent into the black void of the Internet,

One more friend who promises to pass it around,

All equalling to nothing,

Maybe laziness makes me grow weary of the hunt?

Or maybe it has simply burned me out?

Hopelessness accompanies each attempt,

There is hope that I will find my way someday,

Yet the question of my future hassles me everyday,

I am not worried about things sorting themselves out someday,

I wanted them sorted yesterday,

Last year,

I can look back on those moments,

Staring ahead with hope,

Only to have the hope harpooned by reality,

I give into vices,

My most valuable resource goes wasted,

A victim to desires that hold me back,

I am only human,

Yet I seem to be a weak one at times,

Seeking escapism or validation from people and things that do not value me,

My someday is coming,

But maybe I don’t want to wait for it anymore.

Cell

Time has no shape,

Yet I always try to imagine what it would look like if it had one,

It’s power makes me think of something big,

A powerful beast,

A rhino,

A bull,

But that wouldn’t be right,

Time isn’t a behemoth that overpowers the things around it,

It is something much smaller,

That adapts to any climate,

Attacking everything in its path,

Time is no different than bacteria,

In everything,

On everything,

It can help us,

Save us,

But it can also destroy us,

Eating away at health and leaving death in its wake,

Delivering death in a smaller,

Slower, more painful package

 

Time

It keeps slipping through my fingers,

An hour wasted in the black hole of YouTube,

Or maybe Instagram,

The 40 hours spent in an office I want to escape,

Leaving feeling drained,

Promising myself I will do more when I get home,

Or on a free day,

Then only taking the time to relax,

Which makes me feel guilty,

So I try to work,

When I don’t want to,

Wasting more time,

Neither relaxing or working,

This is the cycle I’m stuck in,

That needs to be broken,

For me to become the best I can be