The Cop Bonus

“How’s the kitchen coming along?”

“Great, I think we have enough to renovate the basement too. I’m so happy they’ve finally started paying you more. Especially since you lost your job.”

“The money’s not from the police station honey. After I killed that kid, someone started a GoFundMe account. They raised nearly half a million dollars for me!”

“Really? We got this place before the trial though.”

“Yeah, they gave me money to cover our trial expenses.”

“Doesn’t that mean they assumed you’re innocent?”


“That’s awesome! I was thinking that we could start a garden in the back too, and I think a shed would be really useful too. We have any more from the GoFundMe?”

“No, after the move, the trial and the renovations we’re pretty much out. Still have to be grateful that people gave us all that money in the first place though. It’s nice to be appreciated for taking out deranged thugs. I mean the kid stole cigarettes, cold blooded psychopath right?”

“Yep. Any more people like him around?”

“Now that you mention it… there’s so many people like that in this area. I mean, a lot of them are black.”

“Lazy thugs, gang culture.”

“There must be some more big guys among them.”

“Hulking brutes. Unlike my two hundred and thirty pound husband, who also has a gun.”

“Some of them might do weed too.”

“Dangerous, unpredictable drug addicts.”

“A lot of them are probably poor too and have a bunch of teachers and cops who don’t believe in them.”

“I think we’re sitting on a goldmine dear.”

“Yes we are. I’ll get some overtime at the station. Make sure I do more patrols. If I see a kid wearing a hoodie, it’s going down. ”

“You could get a white guy too right?”

“Hmmm… not a safe bet. White people are at the top of the list, then dogs, then blacks are at the bottom. Never forget that.”

“I won’t. Go out there and make America proud.”

“I will honey.”

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